A client once asked me to fix the emotional pain that she was experiencing. She was determined to get over her cheating spouse, move on and meet someone else. She asked what she should be doing to get over the emotional pain as quickly as possible. She reported that she still loved her spouse, but that it was time to move on and wanted to know how to stop loving him. Well, there is no magic wand for emotional pain. There are no directional books on how to skip the emotional pain, the only way it through it.
The pain is there no matter how you cope with it. It will not just disappear. Some people medicate emotional pain by drinking too much, taking drugs, misusing prescription drugs or quickly jumping into a new romantic relationship in an attempt to numb the pain. In the end, the emotional pain is there waiting for them. The best way is to find things that help you through the pain without being destructive to yourself. Some people journal, some meditate, some run, some knit, some pray, some take karate classes….what is it for you? Is it surrounding yourself with people who will support you, allow you to vent yet not judge you for your decisions in the end? Is it taking long walks as you process your feelings?
As time passes, so will the emotional pain. Things will become clearer and you will know what the next step is for you. While feeling emotionally distressed, do not make hasty decisions, allow yourself time to process and become balanced. If you are grieving the end of a relationship, realize that you will need to work through the stages of grief. It will not just disappear. You cannot just shut off your emotions. If you realize that the emotional roller coaster is too much to work through on your own, seek out a licensed therapist in your area to help guide you through the pain and establish healthy coping skills as you go through this journey.
Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from infidelity, intimacy anorexia, sex addiction and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS is an individual and marriage therapist