6 Types of Sex Addicts and Boo-Boo Mama
I recently attended a sex addiction workshop run by Dr. Doug Weiss from Heart to Heart Counseling in Colorado. I was there to learn about the six types of sex addicts in order to more effectively identify what was going on with clients, and to help them as quickly as possible. I never expected to hear about Boo-Boo Mama. First read on about the six different types of sex addicts as identified by Dr. Doug Weiss:
1. Biological Sex addict- found pornography and masturbation as a way to feel good and escape into fantasy-trained brain to reinforce and crave porn.
2. Psychological sex addict- has suffered abuse in the past, such as: sexual abuse, physical abuse or emotional abuse.
3. Spiritual based sex addict- had no connection to spirituality, but stops acting out when a spiritual purpose was found.
4. Mood/personality disorder sex addict- may medicate depression, bipolar disorder, NPD, or borderline personality disorder by acting out behaviors in order to stabilize mood.
5. Trauma based Sex addict- has suffered trauma and trauma bonding may have been the basis for acting out behaviors.
6. Intimacy Anorexic sex addict- purposely avoids intimacy with spouse and fills the void and emptiness with acting out behaviors.
This is only a short description about the types of sex addicts. Sex addiction has horrible and devastating effects on the addict and his/her family. So where does “Boo-Boo Mama” fit into sex addiction?
According to Dr. Weiss,” Boo-Boo Mama” belongs with the biological sex addict. I could not help but chuckle as Dr. Weiss attempted to explain the seriousness of the addicted brain, and the term “Boo-Boo Mama” came out. Dr. Weiss did this in attempt to explain the dynamics of the brain in a simple way, so those of us who are not neuroscientists could understand what was happening in the biological sex addict’s brain.
So who is Boo-Boo Mama? Boo-Boo Mama is the fantasy that the biological sex addict escapes to when entering the fantasy world. She is the most gorgeous woman with the absolute perfect figure, and she wants the sex addict at all times. She is always positive, validating and affirming to the sex addict. The addict can do anything he desires, and she is always loving and approving. She doesn’t speak- the sex addict fantasies about what she says and does. Boo-Boo Mama makes the addict feel wonderful, powerful and wanted. When anything in the real world is stressful or hurtful, the sex addict can escape to Boo-Boo Mama and get instant relief. Boo-Boo Mama is easily accessible, because she resides on the internet. Boo-Boo Mama affects the brain of the addict. The addict constantly reinforces the pleasure neuropath ways of the brain by visiting Boo-Boo Mama.
The addict also pays dearly, because Boo-Boo Mama will eventually drag the addict down into a world of lies, secrets and deception. Boo-Boo mama is a black widow or a praying mantis that will eat her suitor. The addict loses the ability to be intimate with real people, social skills may stall at an age where Boo- Boo Mama made her entrance, and Boo-Boo Mama may replace normal daily life responsibilities, which eventually may lead the addict to losing a relationship or a job. Whether you choose to call it fantasy, compartmentalizing, disassociation or just Boo-Boo Mama, Boo-Boo Mama is no laughing matter. If you are a partner of a sex addict, do not try to compete with Boo-Boo Mama, you will lose. Boo-Boo Mama is not real, but she will eventually chip your self-esteem away and leave you in despair, as no human can meet the unrealistic expectations. If you or someone you know is struggling with pornography addiction, on-going infidelity, or intimacy anorexia, call a therapist who has training in this area.
Written by: Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC-Intern, National Certified Counselor, McKinney, TX
Supervised by: Debra Larsen, MS, LPC-S.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS is an individual and marriage therapist