It is painful when you look at your marriage and realize that you feel like a roommate. There is generally no talk about hopes, dreams, spirituality or feelings. Instead communication is mostly about child care, child activities, bill payments and the endless “To-do” lists. The to-do list conversations are not very sexy, nor does it create emotional intimacy. Over time, you may start feeling disconnected and emotionally starved.
It takes dedication from both spouses to get out of this long lasting rut. The spouse who is emotionally deprived may feel anger, resentment and disappointment. The “anorexic” spouse may feel defensive, anxious and resistant to make changes at first. Emotional deprivation or the term “Intimacy Anorexia” as coined by Psychologist, Doug Weiss, has devastating effects on the relationship. Doug Weiss, Ph.D., refers to Intimacy Anorexia being present in the relationship when 5 of the following criteria are met:
Intimacy anorexia can ruin a relationship unless it is addressed. Often, the spouse of the Intimacy Anorexic, will say that they feel like their spouse is cold, disengaged, and puts up walls. The greatest avoidance strategy for the anorexic is technology. They can sit on the same couch as the spouse, but completely “escape” connecting intimately by using social media, researching, gaming, checking email, chatting or completely tuning everything out while watching TV.
If you or your spouse can identify with the criteria above, step out of feeling emotionally deprived in your relationship. Seek out an SRT certified therapist in your area to start working on building intimacy and emotional connection. There are several techniques and homework assignments that can be utilized in order to obtain more connection in the relationship.
Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.
APSATS Certification Training
West Palm Beach, FL
The Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model Training Sex addiction and compulsivity is an issue being encountered within all clinical treatment settings. The wounded and betrayed partner or spouse is, in many settings, the primary patient/client seeking effective assistance and treatment. Over the past several years, there has been a move toward utilizing a trauma perspective in treating the traumatic impact of sex addiction upon the partner or spouse. This is the essential difference from the historical sex addiction models that emerged in the 1980s. Our Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model training seeks to provide a sound foundation for assisting partners in their healing process, and is the required training toward certification as a Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) or Partner Coach (CPC).
This four-day training will:
review prevailing models of treatment for partners of sexual addicts
introduce a unifying model for treatment of partners, and
discuss the various traumatic effects surrounding sex addiction upon the intimate partner or spouse
The training will also discuss:
treatment strategies and techniques
assessment processes, and
ongoing support necessary for successful trauma resolution for the partner and the relationship
gain understanding of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model of partner treatment
gain understanding and skills related to integrating the MPT Model in the treatment of the person with the addiction
gain understanding of empirically researched theories and skills related to effective trauma response and treatment that promote trauma resolution
obtain information about the clinical needs of special populations of partners of sexual addicts
gain understanding of the unique ethical issues related to treatment of partners, including the issue of potential treatment-induced trauma
The MPTM Training schedule is 4 days long, from 8:30 AM until 4:30 PM each day. Attendance for the entire 4 day training is required for certification.
Registration is now open!
Visit www.APSATS.org for more information
APSATS is the only organization that specializes in the preparation and certification of Partner Specialists. We train and certify Certified Clinical Partner Specialists (CCPS) and Certified Partner Coaches (CPC) who subscribe to a developing treatment model that acknowledges and responds to the traumatic stress found in partners affected by sex addiction.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS is an individual and marriage therapist