If you are a person in recovery, you have certainly traveled a long recovery journey: acknowledged your powerlessness, taken a personal inventory, shared your character defects and then eventually arrived at Step 9: Making Amends. Many find this step anxiety producing, yet freeing. You are at a spot in your recovery where you are able to take accountability for the hurt that your actions have caused others and to make amends.
            What if your amends aren’t welcomed at the time that you are ready to take this significant step? What if your spouse or your teenage child does not want to hear or accept it? What if they are not ready? What if they can’t? As you will have needed support through this, so will they. It is important that everyone in the family unit receives counseling and/or attends appropriate meetings to get the support and knowledge that they will need on this journey. Your loved ones will have suffered consequences as a result of your actions. They will have experienced hurt, sadness, betrayal and anger. This list may go on and on.
            Step 9 involves making amends whenever possible, EXCEPT when it may hurt others. If your loved one is not ready, you can’t force them, nor should you. An angry, hurt teenager may not welcome your amends at this time. It will need to happen on their timeline- not yours. A distraught spouse may not have been able to work through their grief, hurt, anger that your addiction brought the family. They may not be ready when you get there. You can reach out, state your intent and ask them to let you know when they may be ready and willing to hear the amends.
            You have worked hard to get to this point. Your loved ones will have needed to work hard in order to be ready. It can’t be forced because you are ready. This step and healing only comes when everyone gets there.

Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.

​How Facebook Can Influence Your Depression
Now a days, it appears as if more and more of us are glued to our devices- checking email, reading news, checking out how fabulously everyone else is doing in their perfect life as portrayed on Facebook.
Did you hear about the latest studies? We have the tendency to be more depressed and discontent about our own lives when we spend a lot of time on Facebook. Not only are we spending that time away from communicating and connecting with our own loved ones, we are spending time seeing a well constructed portrait of how awesome and exciting everyone else’s life is.
 People generally post things related to highlights such as weddings, amazing travel, and romantic relationships. You don’t see many posts regarding scrubbing the toilet, being overdue on a bill, losing your patience with cranky kids, finding out about a partner’s infidelity, being snubbed off the latest promotion, having an awful rash, or having a panic attack at Target…
So, you read all these fabulous posts and compare them your own life…well, most people don’t’ have romantic relationships that are perfect at all times, children aren’t perfect at all times and neither are we.
Go easy on yourself. Don’t compare or judge yourself. Remind yourself that the perfect lives portrayed on Facebook are simply a snapshot in time. On Facebook you don’t get to hear about the stresses, anxieties, yet we all have them.
 
Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.

Will You Let Him Love You Again?
Following the difficult work, tears and fears, a day may come when you realize that your sexually addicted spouse is on a good track in his recovery. And so are you. You see that he has grown emotionally, he tries to connect with you, he takes accountability, he continues to work his program, and he does what he says he will do. Now will you let him love you?
You are most likely afraid to be vulnerable with him again. You clearly remember what it felt like, emotionally and physically, when the secrets came out in the open. You clearly remember the emotional roller coaster that lingers for a long period following disclosure.
If you have worked on your own healing, you have most likely been through the shock, anger, sadness, and the bargaining stages. You may have worked on forgiveness as you realized that this addiction has nothing to do with your worth or value as a person.
Your healing journey has been a long one, and so has his. You have probably heard that the recovery period for a couple facing Sex addiction recovery is on average between 3 to 5 years.  So when the time comes, will you let him in? Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable again?
There comes a day for a couple who has done their long healing work to make the decision to take the chance, take the risk, be vulnerable and to jump in to truly connect with one another. You can’t truly love your spouse from a distance, surrounded by walls. It may be a scary step or maybe it has just happened a little at a time through the recovery process. One day, you wake up, and you feel loved and you allow others to love you.

Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.