Emotional intimacy is created over time between friends, lovers, spouses and family members. Emotional intimacy is building and creating a special, deep emotional bond with another. Sharing feelings, experiences and genuine care for the other creates it. You have arrived when you feel emotionally safe regardless of what obstacle you are facing. You do not withhold. You do not walk on eggshells, and you know the other speaks their truth.
Emotional intimacy develops over time when we chose to open ourselves up to truly sharing who we are and what we feel. It comes from talking and expressing deep topics, issues, concerns, hopes, wishes and dreams. It is built when we go beyond fantasy football, stock market and today’s weather report. It can be developed when sharing spiritual beliefs, expressing what love truly means, exploring our purpose on earth, and analyzing what the infinity of the universe actually means.
I have nothing against fantasy football. I believe in freeing the mind at times and creating occasional escapes from the real world. I bring up fantasy football due to Hara Estroff Marano’s latest article in Psychology Today, (April 2016). The article is about gender balance in today’s society, but she points out how disengagement in relationships is increasing. She states, “ Many young men get caught in the compelling algorithms of gaming, pornography, and fantasy football.”
There are so many people who feel alone in their relationships. Their spouse is physically there, but choose to instead engage in online activities that prevent emotional intimacy to grow. It is a blocker. Gaming, pornography, fantasy football amongst other activities stunts the growth and the potential of emotional intimacy in the relationship.
Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS is an individual and marriage therapist