Will You Let Him Love You Again?
Following the difficult work, tears and fears, a day may come when you realize that your sexually addicted spouse is on a good track in his recovery. And so are you. You see that he has grown emotionally, he tries to connect with you, he takes accountability, he continues to work his program, and he does what he says he will do. Now will you let him love you?
You are most likely afraid to be vulnerable with him again. You clearly remember what it felt like, emotionally and physically, when the secrets came out in the open. You clearly remember the emotional roller coaster that lingers for a long period following disclosure.
If you have worked on your own healing, you have most likely been through the shock, anger, sadness, and the bargaining stages. You may have worked on forgiveness as you realized that this addiction has nothing to do with your worth or value as a person.
Your healing journey has been a long one, and so has his. You have probably heard that the recovery period for a couple facing Sex addiction recovery is on average between 3 to 5 years. So when the time comes, will you let him in? Will you allow yourself to be vulnerable again?
There comes a day for a couple who has done their long healing work to make the decision to take the chance, take the risk, be vulnerable and to jump in to truly connect with one another. You can’t truly love your spouse from a distance, surrounded by walls. It may be a scary step or maybe it has just happened a little at a time through the recovery process. One day, you wake up, and you feel loved and you allow others to love you.
Ingela Edwards, MS, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from sex addiction, infidelity, intimacy anorexia, and intimacy deprivation. Ingela Edwards Counseling serves the McKinney, Plano, Allen, Frisco, Carrollton, Lewisville, Dallas and Sherman area.
Ingela Edwards, LPC, NCC, SRT, CCPS is an individual and marriage therapist